Why can't I just hit rewind?

I really hate when I get in the mood I'm in right now. I don't know if it's been sparked by project reunion talk lately or what, but I get times where I get really sad and miss project so much it hurts. I miss the city, I miss the close-knit community of Christians, I miss our only focus being serving God (and not school!!!), and I miss being with people that I love so much. I was looking at our new project website and stumbled upon a poem written by the talented Patrick Martchink that sums up our summer so well:
"Rewind, Fastforward"
Rewind,
Sunday May 29 th, 2005
After months of prayer and support raising; a few parting tears, a weeks worth of driving or a days worth of flying, maybe some car troubles or dealing with lost luggage at the airport… you're finally here in sunny San Diego!

What's that? I'll be living with twelve other girls this summer? I'm sorry I must've heard you incorrectly. Oh. I did hear you incorrectly. I'll be living with thirteen other girls this summer! Well that's just great… Later you meet up with your growth group, about three other girls that you'll have the opportunity to share your deepest, darkest secrets with.

Day two. Project orientation with Dan and Libby. You begin to realize what the California sun can do to pasty white midwestern skin in one afternoon at the beach. Your growth team leader approaches you with a little something called Soul to Soul. The time is now to bare, share your past, your history, your mistakes, your secrets, your life. You're scared. Its only day two you're thinking. If they're having me do this on day two, what the heck are they going to have me do on day three, day eight, day forty seven? What are these people going to think of me when they find out who I really am?

Fast Forward.

After hours of sharing with your sisters in Christ. After baring your soul, showing those true colors, and maybe even shedding a few painful tears. God revealed something to you; you're not alone. Your life meshes with the other girls in your growth group. Your lives weave a blanket, a security blanket that you can fall back on for not only the next ten weeks, but hopefully a lifetime.

Fast Forward.

Your eyes are opened to your surroundings when Libby informs everyone that we'll be sharing this afternoon. Sharing? I've never done that before; What's that? Information comes rushing in from your newly acquired sisterhood and your heart begins to quicken. Like you should, you resort to prayer. You ask for the words, you ask for the courage, you ask for hearts to listen.

Your first attempt. Here's the approach. “Excuse me maam, would you like to take a quick suuurveeey…?
Note to self, don't ask people on roller blades to take survey.

Fast Forward.

I'm in a loving family one day, the next my parents realize I'm too much of a financial burden, so I'm lost, abandoned. The next day I'm taken to an orphanage where there are dozens of kids just like me. But I have hope and joy in my heart because tomorrow bus loads of Americans will drive up this old dirt road bringing toys, games, and happiness. So when the time comes for them to leave, they won't be leaving as just Americans, but they will be leaving as our friends.

Fast Forward.

A weekend away from the boys will do your hearts much good. An overnight is in store and the anticipation of what's to come is almost too much to bare. You leave with question marks cluttering the very air you breathe. After a weekend of challenging your bodies and minds physically, mentally, but above all spiritually; you arise a woman. No longer a girl in the eyes of your peeps, but a leader through the eyes of God.

Fast Forward

Five weeks in, zero staff left. Some how you have managed to survive all the “who ate my peanut butters” and the “who is using my conditioners.” Somehow, five weeks in, your smile glows brighter than ever.
Moving ahead as our summer winds down.

Many worked under the firework laden skies to celebrate their independence. Many sobbed for the ones they call the invisible children. Yet all erupted with joy when a man named Russell emerged from the crowds to walk the walk and talk the talk with Bob Barker.

Fast Forward 12 days from today
Thursday, Aug. 4 th , 2005

Today can't be expressed by words. You let your body subside to the actions and emotions that are screaming inside of you. Your hands shake while you let your eyes speak for themselves. You're caught in a whirlwind of tears and laughter. Hugs are flying left and right while you're screaming to your sisters, triple checking their phone numbers and emails just to make sure. You say goodbye, but don't really mean it because you know this is not goodbyes. You say, “I love you,” because you do.

Fast Forward

You're on your plane or in your car. The music dies down and peace falls over your body. You think to yourself, “Why can't I just hit rewind?”

Wow, if only I could just hit rewind...I would do anything to do that. Project was a taste of heaven - literally. Worshipping and glorifying God, being with people you love, engulfed in peace and love. It's what we were made for...it only makes sense that we would long for it so much!! The sad thing is, something that runs through my mind quite frequently, is that I won't experience something like this summer until I reach heaven. Never again on this Earth will I live with those same people like I did this summer. That's so hard for me to swallow...never. And yet, I'm so incredibly grateful for everything God gave me and showed me this summer. I wouldn't trade where I'm at now (even my PPD - post project depression) for anything less. God is so amazing in the ways He works! :)

Well, I suppose I've rambled long enough. Goodnight all...

:D

Hey everyone! Lots of good news to put into this blog! First, I just got an email from our summer project director giving us all the details of our project reunion!!!!!!! Man, I have never looked forward to something as much as I am with reunion! Initially, I made fun of the fact that reunion is only a couple of months after project, but now I see why...I wouldn't be able to wait any longer!! In addition to that, our project website is up (A-harmony rocks my face off!!)!! You all should check it out: www.thesdsp.com. Looking at it brought back so many feelings and memories...it's so great!! I've really had SDSP withdrawl the last couple of days. I woke up the other morning from a dream that had Shawn in it and that combined with not talking to him or Jeremy in a while (anyone seen or heard from Shawn lately?? I haven't talked to him in almost a week!), I was really missing SDSP like no other. So, I am SOOOOO anxious and excited for project reunion!!!!!!

Second, I think I fixed my computer!!!! Well, I'm not the one who fixed it...my brother did. But nevertheless, it hasn't shut itself off since I fixed it!! You guys have no idea, it was so annoying! It would shut off multiple times a day, and today I was so fed up with it because I was trying to work on a paper I have due on Thursday, and it shut down 2 or 3 times in the matter of an hour or so. It's so nice to have it working now!!!

Third, I found out last night that my aunt (my mom's sister-in-law) is pregnant with her and my uncle's first baby!!!! They were really having trouble getting pregnant, so my aunt was put on something to increase her chances with getting pregnant, but they were also looking into adoption as a back-up. But, thank the Lord, she got pregnant!!! This will only be my 3rd cousin on my mom's side, so I'm excited to see that side of the family grow! I've decided that she has to have a girl though. I realized that my familiy (including every side - my mom's, my dad's, and my stepfamily) hasn't had a girl born since my sister was born 16 years ago!! It's about time for a girl in my family!

Fourth, my cousin Ryan (on my dad's side) is getting married next Saturday! Unfortunately, I have to work at our football game in the morning/afternoon, but I will be driving straight down (just outside of Chicago) for the reception. I'm really excited because I have an aunt, uncle, and cousins that I hardly ever get to see that are all going to be down for the wedding!

We also got our practicum placements the other day! I'm going to be at Van Hise Elementary working with 3rd graders! We all have a partner from our cohort in the classroom with us, and I really like the girl I'll be working with. Things will get a lot busier once practicum starts next Wednesday, but I'm really excited to get into the classroom!!

I think that's all the good news I have for now! :)

So I'm not updating this as often as I had hoped, but seriously, there isn't all that much to write about lately! Classes are underway and the work is starting to pile on. Just looking at my planner makes me freak out at times...it all fits in there nice and neatly, but when am I going to do it all?! There's just a huge reading load, on top of projects and papers of course, and I can't really get away with not reading before class anymore. I actually have to know this stuff, and want to know it at that, but it's very time consuming!

Crusade and the SPEV team are going well. Primetime has just gotten off on a really good foot this year and each week is so good! Last Saturday, the SPEV team made the Fall Getaway promo video. It took pretty much all afternoon, which was unexpected, but it'll be funny and I'm excited to see it. We basically contrasted a weekend here in Madison (doing homework, eating in the cafeteria, sleeping in really late, etc.) to a weekend at Fall Getaway (Bible study, eating JUNK food, playing capture the flag, etc.), but all in a really cheesy manner! We're praying for 300 people to attend this year, which is about 40 or 50 more than last year. Definitely can be done, especially with God's help!

The only other thing I've been doing (other than spend too much time on the Internet...thanks Shawn :P) is working. I was able to pick up extra hours at the Preschool Lab, so now I'm working 4 hours a week instead of 2!! Woohoo! I've been working there for about 2 years and this year the kids are great! Last year, we had some troublemakers in the 4 and 5 year old room who just fed off each other constantly, so it's a nice change of pace to have kids that are a little more pleasant. I've also been working at the home football games. We had this last Saturday off, so it feels like it's been a while since I've worked there. I mentioned in an earlier blog about how I was stuck with a partner that couldn't do the job very well and it was really frustrating to work with her. Well, praise the Lord, I was given a new partner the last time I worked!! I work with a guy named Bob who's really good at what we do. Unlike with my other partner where we each took half of the section, Bob and I both serve the whole section. We constantly communicate about our guests which was a little more hectic at first, but once things got going, it was nice knowing what was going on with our entire section, instead of just part of it. We didn't make as good of tips as the first game, but I think part of that was because the game was boring (we won like 65-0 or something like that) so a lot of people left early and it seemed like they ordered less too. This weekend, the Badgers play Michigan at night and it's our biggest game of the year, so I'm really hoping and praying that my tips will be better!!

Well, my stomach is growling, so I should probably go make some dinner! Bye! :)

Movie deprived

So, I always knew I was movie deprived, but Shawn (1) thinks that I have missed out on the best movies there are. So, I decided to post the ever-growing list of movies I need to see (in his opinion):

1. Tommy Boy
2. Black Sheep
3. Dumb and Dumber
4. Dodgeball
5. Without a Paddle
6. Billy Madison
7. Happy Gilmore

This list will continue to grow I'm sure, so I'll update accordingly.

P.S. Shawn (2) wanted his name in my blog 12 times. I already have 2, so I have to find 10 more ways to put Shawn's (3) name in here. Shawn (4) is definitely an interesting guy. The best word that describes Shawn (5) is goofy. Shawn (6) loves to be silly and Shawn (7) always knows how to make me laugh. Hmm...how else can I use Shawn's (8) name? Ooh, I'll write a poem!

There once was a guy named Shawn (9)
Who spent the summer in San Diego but now is gone
Shawn (10) lives in St. Louis and thinks he is cool
But what Shawn (11) doesn’t know is that he is a fool
Because Shawn (12) doesn’t live in Wisconsin! :D

I know that last line doesn't rhyme, but oh well!

Wow, it’s been a while since my last post! Shawn (x12...there, you're in it 12 times! :P) pointed out that I haven’t posted in a while, so here I am! Classes started last week and they’re going well so far. This semester is called the literacy semester, so I’m learning about how to teach kids to read and write. It’s the most intense semester I’ll have probably during my whole college career, but I think it’ll be pretty interesting. I really like all of my TA’s and I think I’ll learn a lot from them!

Crusade is underway here at the UW. We had our first Primetime last Thursday and it was so good! God graciously blessed us with so many people! And everything went well…the band sounded really good, the new emcee did well, the speaker was good, and most exciting…there were no technical difficulties! It felt so good to be among so many college students again, worshipping the Lord. It brought back good memories of this summer. I totally felt God’s presence last Thursday at Primetime. During worship, I felt such a joy singing the words in the songs, and I just kept thinking about how blessed I am. I mean, I always knew I was blessed, but just thinking about the people God placed in my life this summer, it makes me so thankful and happy!!

I decided to serve on the SPEV (Special Events) team in Crusade this semester. We plan and promote our 3 big events of the year: Fall Getaway, TCX, and Big Break. I love all 3 trips and I thought it would be fun to be behind the scenes and help plan them. I really like being on the team so far and I think it’s going to be really fun!

Well, I think that’s about all that’s going on with me. Hopefully I’ll be able to post more often than I have been lately, so keep checking!

Busy weekend!!

Wow, this weekend was so busy!! We had our first visitors from project!! Patrick (aka Patuardo) Martchink and Matt Luchtefeld came up for the weekend from St. Louis. It's been really fun hanging out with them and suddenly having lots of plans each day! They got here on Friday night so we went to Uno's for dinner, introduced Patrick and Matt to the amazing 2 t-shirts for $15 at Steve and Barry's, and then made our appearance at the MOB party. Oh I love MOB parties. Just like project, it wouldn't be a Crusade event if there wasn't dancing! It was especially comical when some drunk girl wandered in and insisted that she dance with Patrick! He was so scared of her and even caused Matt to leave the room! Fun times. On Saturday, the boys went to the football game (their first college game!) with a bunch of Crusaders and I worked my first game in the suites. I'll talk more about how that went in a bit. They all had amazing seats at the game...2nd and 3rd rows! After the game (and after some of them took a short nap!), we went out for dinner and then hung out at the terrace. I really wish I would've taken advantage of going to the terrace more in the past because it's a really cool place to hang out. There was a band playing which made it kind of hard to talk at times, but it was still fun to just hang out...and get some ice cream of course! Today, the guys went to the library for a while (hehe, it sucks to have classes that started 2 weeks ago!) and then we went to the Taste of Madison down by the capital, went to the 6:00 service at Blackhawk, hung out at my place for a while, and then got some pizza at Toppers. They're leaving tomorrow morning, but we're all planning on going to Mickey's for some yummy breakfast before they leave! It's been a ton of fun having them here. Jeremy went to visit Shawn this weekend in St. Louis and Matt told me that he invited them to come to Wisconsin with them this weekend. Jeremy told me that if they had left later on Friday, they would've come. I was a little disappointed...that would've been SO much fun!! I just miss being with them so much. I'm having fun being here too, but I miss them like no other sometimes. Only about a month and a half until project reunion though!!! :D

Anyway, so my first day working a game was so crazy!!! It took a while to get used to keeping track of who's with who and under what tab (we have a number system of keeping track of what tabs people had going). It was a lot of running back and forth to get drinks and food, but the only thing that was bad about that was the injuries my shoes gave me. :( There were a few problems throughout the day. We each work with a partner in our section and unfortunately, my partner is kind of an airhead. She really didn't catch on at all the whole day. At one point in the game before halftime, a lady came up to me asking me if the same servers were working the same sections for each game. I told her yes and she got this disappointed look on her face. She proceeded to tell me that their server (my partner) was horrible, often forgetting to get what they ordered. She asked me to take care of them the rest of the games and I told her I would. I told my partner that I was taking an order for them and when I asked her what tab number they were under, she told me she had no idea! It's frustrating because I often have to work harder to pick up for her slack. I'm just hoping and praying that she'll catch on soon and it will be easier to work with her. At the end of the day, we're supposed to get a print out of the money we owe back to the office and then the extra is what we made in tips. Of course when my partner and I went to get our print out, the computer stopped working and we had to wait for like an hour before we could cash out. We kept getting told different things by everyone and sent to so many different people and it felt like no one knew what was going on. I was supposed to get free dinner after work, but of course cashing out took so long and I figured that there was no food left, so I just went home. It was a really long and tiring day (I was at the stadium from 7-4:30!) but the good news was that I made some really good money - I get like $6 an hour (and no taxes taken out!) plus tips (I got about $120 in tips!!). I think I'll enjoy the job more and more as time goes on and the more experience I get. I enjoyed the guests I worked with so it'll be nice to see a lot of the same faces every week.

Well, I should end this and start thinking about bed. I'm so glad we don't have classes tomorrow!! I'll have a nice breakfast at Mickey's, then my mom is visiting on her way back from taking my brother to school so we'll go out to lunch and hang out a bit. But then I have NOTHING planned for the rest of the day!! I'm going to enjoy my last day of summer to the fullest (although I had quite the eventful weekend, so that'll probably consist of relaxing and being lazy!!) :)