Ugh...

So this week was kind of a tough week in some ways. I started my new job at Campus for Kids last week and I really like it...it's laid back, I work with really nice people, and the kids are a lot of fun. I'm starting to learn a lot of the kids' names, but I feel like I still have a long way to go! Working a little bit everyday makes for a quick adjustment though. Practicum is going alright, but I'm kind of anxious for it to be over. It's just frustrating because I have 4 different things I need to accomplish for my classes in my practicum classroom and we only have 6 days left in our classrooms. There's no reason why these projects need to all be done now. A couple definitely could've been done earlier in the semester when we had less things to do. My days have become pretty long now that I have a job. I work everyday, whenever I have a break from classes, and it takes 20 minutes to drive to work, so it makes for a long day. I think my body is still adjusting to being on the go so much because I feel beat at the end of the day.

I also just found out that I no longer have a room at home. :( When talk about what bed I was going to bring to the FLOCK next year began and when I told my mom that I'm not coming home this summer, my mom decided to move my brother into my room and make my brother's room into a den, therefore leaving me without a room. I was fine with it at first because I'll be in Madison most of the time anyway. But I definitely didn't expect them to go through with it already! I got kind of sad when I realized what just happened. I told my mom that I probably won't go home to visit much now because it won't feel like home. It'll be like I'm just a guest at someone else's house, despite having lived there for 10 years. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later...it was just sooner than I had expected.

I've still been struggling a bit with self-esteem issues too. Little and random things will make me think stupid thoughts I know aren't true. Like sometimes I feel like my cooperating teacher doesn't like me very much, and then I start to think that it's because of certain things about myself that I don't necessarily like. I'm trying to just rely on God to rid my mind of these thoughts, but it's hard at the same time when I start to believe these thoughts. It's hard when I want to see God work sooner than He does. The Casting Crowns song "Praise You in the Storm" is a really good reminder about praising God even when things aren't looking up or things are hard, and relying on Him for strength. It's a good reminder to continually seek Him despite how things are going. I know God is there for me and has a plan for me...the patience is the hard part.